Jane Kidd | Co-Creation

Why Reflection Feels Uncomfortable (and How to Get Better at It)

Jane Kidd — Wed, 11 Dec 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Taking a moment to reflect on the art of Reflecting – it’s harder than you think. Why is celebrating our own success so uncomfortable?

So, this isn’t a blog about 2024 coming to a close and how we set ourselves up to bring in the new year with gusto and positivity – it’s far too early for that!

It is more around recognising that celebrating success can often feel very uncomfortable for many reasons, but we have to get better at doing it, and doing it more often and for no other reason than it makes us feel good.

Why Is Reflection So Uncomfortable?

At a recent strategy session with the Co-Creation team one of the first exercises we threw ourselves into was to contribute one thing we were proud of achieving in 2024.

A room full of experienced coaches and successful business leaders who are trained to do this professionally and who build this into programmes we design and deliver every day – this should be easy – right??

Oh, how wrong were we!

We sat around a table, and all looked extremely uncomfortable even though we had been asked to reflect ahead of the session, come prepared to share and amongst a group of like-minded individuals where familiarity, friendship bonds and psychological safety are in abundance.

It led me to think (Yes – reflect – really hard for quite a while) about why this was, but also how perhaps we all need to talk the talk and walk the walk more in our own practice.

What We Learned From Our Session

This goes way beyond being grateful and showing gratitude – something I do a lot to help with my mental wellbeing and resilience.

We all sat – for quite a while – with our thinking faces on. Who was going to share first, and what would they talk about? There was tension in the air as we all looked around the room.

Once we verbalised that we were struggling and got comfortable with the uncomfortable, took the pressure off us all having to share a long list of achievements – reminding ourselves that it’s quality over quantity – allowed ourselves the time to think without any pressure, to start writing and see where our thoughts took us, without judgement, fear, opinions, self-doubt getting in the way – we came to an important realisation – that for most of us it has been a year of challenges, but out of that always comes growth – personally and professionally.

Why Is It So Hard to Share Our Achievements?

So why was reflecting and sharing our achievements, what we are proud of designing/delivering for our clients, the impact we make, and the difference to people’s lives we contribute so hard?

We inherently don’t like talking about our achievements – is it blowing our own trumpet, shouting a bit too loud, “hey, look at me and what I have done”, shining the light on ourselves when we prefer to let others take the limelight? Or is it that we don’t do it enough and therefore need more practice, creating safer places in teams and moments of recognition, celebration, and reflection?

So what’s next…?

As a result of our session, our action was to set up a Gratitude channel on our WhatsApp group – a small step and one that we all committed to. Building in a healthy habit of sharing on a regular basis all that’s great about ourselves and the work we do, individual and team achievements and encouraging each other to do so too.

We also need to recognise that when we ask our clients to do this – they will be going through the same emotions. How do you set up a reflection session for success?

Top Tips for Effective Reflection

Allow space to prepare or at least gather your thoughts ahead of time – quiet time away from distractions helps deepen our thought processes.
Give yourself permission to accept this may be harder than you think – if things haven’t gone well or it’s been an especially difficult time for whatever reason – that’s Ok.
Start writing things down – it might be a slower process than you had anticipated – but put pen to paper.
Encourage yourself to consider all the steps along the way as achievements in their own right.
Celebrate the success of others, but also consider the part you had to play in their accomplishments.
Say what you have written out loud and tell others about it – sharing our achievements makes us feel good.

Over to You:

When was the last time you paused to reflect on your achievements? What small or big moments are you proud of this year? Take a few minutes today to write them down—no judgement, just appreciation for your growth.

Inspired by IAMRemarkable

This blog is further inspired by #IamRemarkable, a global initiative that empowers individuals to celebrate their achievements. If you haven’t heard of it yet, I encourage you to take a moment to find out more. Reflecting on and sharing what makes you remarkable can feel challenging—but the impact it has on confidence and growth is truly powerful. Thanks to Esther Park for sharing this with us!

Neuro-Inclusion – supporting everyone to thrive

Jane Kidd — Sun, 13 Aug 2023 10:52:43 +0000

Embracing Neurodiversity

When I was asked to write this blog, I accepted with eagerness – Jane, you have an interest in Neurodiversity – would you be willing? – and I said “Yes”, without thinking about it too deeply.

Yes, I do have friends and family who are Neurodivergent.

Yes, I am passionate about working with individuals and tapping into their uniqueness, and this topic is now starting to have a spotlight shone on it, much the same as mental health has done in the past few years.

Exploring the Unknown: Unveiling Neurodiversity Realities

However, after a little further research and a fabulous and very eye-opening session with Sam Tuckey from EY’s Neurodiversity Centre of Excellence – I realised in reality how little I did know on the subject, the sheer number of people who are affected, how we should be challenging the language we use, the misconceptions/stereotypes we still have and how organisations are getting their approach to neurodiversity totally wrong. There is a long way to go for society to be neuro inclusive.

Understanding Neurodiversity: Key Insights

I am by no means an expert but here are some of the key things I have learnt, and which I wanted to share with you.

We are all neurodiverse unique individuals. We need to embrace, recognise and accept the neurological difference we all have as a natural part of human diversity.

The majority of us have a neurotypical cognitive profile. However, around 15-20% of all the people living in the world are thought to have a neuro-difference – a neurodivergent cognitive profile.

No two people will be affected in the same way. Diagnosing can take a long time, and many people prefer to have no medical diagnosis at all. (Note the fastest growing population being diagnosed is women between 45-55).

By focusing on the diagnosis – the label – we can often lose sight of the person and the skills they bring, as mentioned above, no two people are affected in the same way.

How many times have you heard, “They must be Autistic/be on the spectrum/have ADHD” – but what is this based on?

Check your understanding first and seek to challenge your own bias, stereotypes and misconceptions. We all have a responsibility to think about the impact these statements may have over time when not based on fact, just judgement.

Have you ever made a throwaway comment similar to that based on a person’s behaviour/actions?
Did you seek to understand more?
Were you challenged?

If faced with the same situation again, might you stop and think before making an assumption/comment?

Neurodivergent individuals have a wealth of skills that are in demand in our data-driven world and as the skills shortage increases. Skills such as hyperfocus, logical problem solving, creativity, and attention to detail bring considerable benefits to innovation and product development strategies, agile ways of working, simplification of processes and speed of results.

There is a misconception, though, that hiring employees who are neurodivergent will mean expensive adjustments to hiring and onboarding processes, specialised in role support and work coaches, increased manager time and company-wide education programmes.

This may be true in some cases – however I would encourage you to think differently.

In reality, good leadership and a work culture of support, communication, empathy and compassion is the key to Neuro inclusion. Leadership 101 and good line manager skills – getting to know team members on a personal level, providing the support required may be all that is needed.

An adjustment for a team member who is neurodiverse might be as simple as a 10-minute chat every morning, helping them to prioritise the emails that have come in overnight.

Another might be as simple as a buddy. Another could be sending out PowerPoint decks ahead of meetings and asking for questions in advance. In all these cases, they are adjustments that can be put in place for everyone, which breaks down the barriers in the first place and normalises support.

Employers should seek to understand the accessibility needs of those with neurodivergent profiles and, where possible, adjust policies and processes to remove barriers.

Navigating Disclosure: Building Trust

Consider the recruitment process and the positive impact of providing interview questions ahead of the interview – allowing all candidates to prepare and be the best version of themselves at interview – not just an adjustment that Neurodivergent candidates may ask for.

This brings me onto Disclosure. In the example above, the candidate would only disclose they needed support at interview stage if they felt safe to do so – confident that being “out” as Neurodiverse would not have an adverse impact on how they were treated. The reality for most Neurodivergent candidates, that is not the case.

Lacking the confidence or skills to navigate complicated recruitment processes is one of many hurdles they face. The responsibility rests with organisations to break down the barriers for inclusion for all.

Continual Learning: Embracing the Journey

Looking at organisational strategy and policy through a Neuro Inclusive lens has benefits not just for employees and potential job candidates but for creating a more diverse and innovative society as a whole.

As I said at the beginning, I am no expert in this field and learning every day, but I am challenging myself to lean in more to understand and ask questions.

If you feel confident to explore Neuro Inclusion in your organisation, then I would encourage you to:

Understand the language around Neuro Divergency, what it means to be Neurodiverse and the scales at which it can affect people
Challenge misconceptions, judgements, and stereotypes – be an advocate for education on this topic
Make what you can accessible to all – scan your organisational processes and normalise asking for adjustments/support
Do what you can to encourage psychological safety – be authentic
Start a dialogue on the subject – Conversations are key

At Co-Creation, we are committed to being in this conversation – to seek to understand more and admit when we might get it wrong. Only by talking about Neuro-divergency can we make progress.

For more information on how we can support your organisations Diversity, Inclusion and Equity conversations and advice on helping your People Experience to be Neuro-inclusive, please get in touch. Call: 0161 969 2512, or email info@co-creation.group

Supportive reading:

Join-The-Dots-Workplace-Guide-1.pdf (madebydyslexia.org)

What is neurodiversity? – Harvard Health

Neurodiversity myths every employer must tackle | Bupa UK